life has its ups and downs. the summer had its moments but i guess it just wasn't what i was looking for. seeking something that literally wasn't there for me to find just yet. my time will come. i have faith that someday it will happen again. life repeats itself. it's bound to occur again. sitting here waiting for that. not so much expecting but waiting patiently. learning that  you can't always get what you want. tis the hard part but keeps me working. is this a sign telling me to cool it and just wait for it. just wait.

AXD : a start of a beautiful friendship
finally got what i wanted out of college. and now time will tell if i get the other things i've asked for.

status: single
that didn't last too long.

i DON'T know...

So much time has passed.
Yet, it fails to leave my side.
No matter how hard I tried to push it aside,
It still remains.
Keep it quiet??
Take a risk?
What will it result in?
Do I fear failure?
It has come back again.
This time I don't want it to go.
I will NOT it get away.
By now, it has grown.
Not to the point where it is escalting.
Gradually rising.
Keeping it underwraps.
For now...

iLOVEmyFRiENDS!
I don't know what I'd do without them.
Words cannot express the gratitude that I have for them.
Who would of thought that, I, Jasmin, out of all people
would pick herself up and go back to normal??
I have found what I've been looking for.
I am so thankful for these special people in my life.
I love them and I hope we stay friends for a long time.
JAAK&J.
Thank you, I couldn't ask for more!

Like they say, there's a first time for everything. I wanted to be able to say that I've NEVER thrown up from drinking alcohol. I have failed. May 25, 2006 was the first time. Discusted by the horrifying act I choose not to consume massive amounts in the future. I was fine until that last one. Why did I have one more?? I knew I was good where I was at. I feel into the peer pressure and I hae failed myself and those around me. Forcing those who care about me to take care of me when I am unable to do so. Putting them in a situation that takes them away from their own fun. Why did I do this to the people that I care about?? GET IT TOGETHER JASMIN! Thank you to those who did take care of me, you're very much appreciated and I am glad to know I won't be left desserted. Why did I have to take that last one?? I missed out on a lot of fun being trashed like that. Noises in the background made me want to join in, laughter and excitment came from voices around me. I could've had fun with them. I failed. I thought I knew my limits. This time I knew I went over the top. It was even hard to swallow the last one, why did I take it??? A lesson that God is teaching me. I will be more aware of my body in cases like these. I also did not consume any food before the dramatic event. Why was I so dumb not to have eaten any food?? A chicken sandwich from Jack in the Box would have been good enough. WHYYYY?? I may have ruined my chances I had. I'll just keep going with it, and see what happens. Figure out if I really did ruin my chance.